Hailey said I should name this "Midsalmon" and that's how I know they're my kid.

When I do my ketamine treatments for depression I often see the strangest things and I always want to photograph them but turns out ketamine doesn’t work that way, so instead I decided this month that I will draw some of the weird images that come into my head as my brain rewires itself. You might be prepared for trippy space drawings but no, it’s this:

Why? No fucking idea.

Maybe because Midsommer has that scene where the main character has a bad psychedelic trip and I’m always terrified that I’m going to fall into another K-hole? Regardless, at the end of each treatment I am a pile of goo and often the nurse will ask if I saw or felt anything that I want to talk about and usually I just say, “The normal stuff. I melted into subatomic particles and the illusion of the world melted away and I assumed I was trapped alone forever as a tiny molecule” because it feels weird to add “And also I saw a cat dressed in the flower dress from a horror movie I still don’t understand and I thought I found the key to the universe but I think it’s just the Toys R Us jingle stuck in my head.”

Also, did you know that we’re now 5 months into this 12-month art experiment and I’m still drawing every night?? Is this the longest I’ve ever stuck with something without my ADD dragging me away? Probably. I have no doubt that I would have given up on this without you being along to inspire me on my journey and I’m so grateful. Even when I feel like I’m empty, just putting a pen to paper makes me think in new ways and I always feel better later even if I wasn’t into it when I started. I assume this is how people who jog for fun feel. I’m sure I’ll never find out.

Anyway, thanks. You make a difference. Really.

Hugs,

Jenny