I was supposed to have sent this to you yesterday but yesterday I had a ketamine treatment for my depression and was off my tits for most of the morning. Usually my ketamine treatments are not at all fun and at a certain point I become convinced that I’ve exploded the universe (sorry) and have shrunk down forever into the mitochondria (the powerhouse of the cell!) but this time I tried to focus on the idea of art so that I could draw whatever it was that my broken little psyche had seen. I did have an epiphany about colors that made perfect sense at the time but now seems a fever dream and I wrote a single, brilliant note to myself, which said simply:
BUTTERSCOTCH
Then I came home and passed out but when I woke up several hours later I was still a bit woozy because apparently slightly-still-loopy me drew this:
So that was a nice, weird surprise from high-me.
This last week I tried adding a little watercolor to my drawings because instagram makes it look too so easy, but what I learned is that I can’t stay in the lines so instead I just added random shapes to my drawings and learned very quickly that you should do the watercolor first and then your drawing because it got muddy very quickly and now I’m at the point where I don’t know if it’s worth it to keep learning or not.
Also, yes, that is my Christmas tree still up in the back, and there are doll legs in the plant because I had to remove them to attach a doll torso to a cat skeleton (plastic) and it felt weird to throw the legs away. I guess it’s also weird to stick the legs in a plant though, now that I think about it. This whole paragraph seems like proof that I am an artist or a sociopath.
I think I’ll practice watercolor splashes on doodles a little more with little index cards and I’ll mail the experiments out to random people here (“You’re welcome!” or “I’m so, so sorry” depending on how they turn out) so check your email in case you get one and I need your address.
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