It's going to get better

A reminder for both of us.

I’ve been struggling a bit lately with a depression, but I think I’m coming back out of it now. I’ll go from utterly paralyzed and exhausted to suddenly being able to think and write and work. The relief that comes with this is so incredible that I can’t even describe it. Like finally coming up for air after too long underwater.

One of the most interesting things about doing this art project you’re joining me on is that I can see the patterns of falling into the hole of anxiety and depression, and I can see the pattern of coming back out. I wish it gave me the secret answer to how to stay out of the darkness forever, but I know that this will be a forever struggle. What it has given me though is proof that nothing lasts forever…that if I wait long enough I’ll come back into the light. And that the terror of being forever stuck in a paralysis is just my depression lying to me. Maybe you’re there now…waiting for the light and wondering if it’s worth holding on.

It is.

I promise.

I didn’t finish the pattern in the trees because I got busy writing again (thank you, God) but let’s just pretend that it’s lighter there because of the sunshine…the light reflecting back after being gone too long.

Thank you for joining me here. I don’t think I would have continued this project without knowing that you were reading and it’s brought me a new appreciation for the joy of just creating, and playing, and being generally weird. I hope it’s brought you something too.

PS. I’m mailing out these ridiculous double-sided cards to ten random subscribers as a surprise thank you, so if you get an email from me asking for your address it’s really me. If you get an email from me asking for money or your mother’s maiden name, that is not me. If you get an email from me that says something like “JSSjjjjksssuuuussssssssssnnnnnnnJJJJG” that is Hunter S. Thomcat sitting on my keyboard. Just so we’re clear.

Hugs,

Jenny