If you’re here you’re probably my friend (even if we’ve never met) and you probably know that I struggle with depression. And maybe you do too. Maybe right now you’re struggling with life, or mercury in retrograde, or hormones, or the lies that mental illness whispers. You are not alone. But you are loved. And needed. Even if you don’t see it.
I drew this picture awhile ago but my head didn’t work well enough to add the words I wanted. So I kept it and played with it, adding words and colors digitally but never in real life because I wanted it to be perfect and I was afraid to fuck it up.
But (like me, and you, and the world) it never was meant to be perfect.
So today I sat down and wrote my words on my drawing and it was far too long and rambly, but it needed to be written. I needed to write it…and to believe it.
I took so long to write it that the pen I’d used for the drawing had run out of ink and so the words I wrote were darker, with a new pen that mismatched the drawing. They were imperfect. I misspelled a word and can’t go back and fix it because this is ink. But all of this is part of what will make me remember this specific drawing…these feelings…this moment…these flaws that make me human…this reminder that life is worth waiting for.
I hope you stay. I hope you live fully. I hope you know how important you are. I hope you see the miracle that is you. I hope you eat the sweetest orange.
Little did I know, signing up for a newsletter hoping to get inspired to draw my insides out, that my feelings and struggles would be mirrored and expressed so perfectly by another human across the globe. You’re a beacon Jenny. Thank you.
I could write a lot of words about how much I needed this today and why. I can believe that this is just for me, and just for someone else met by it, too. And just for someone else besides that. Isn't it interesting that I can believe that?
Thank you, Jenny. The world is richer for having you in it, thank you for being here and for letting yourself out into the world and for reminding us, me, us that it's worth finding ways through the tough days.