Well, this is a mess.

I wanted to try something different. Something more angular and abstract. But it looked weird and unfinished and so each night I kept adding more to try and fix it and it would be amazing if this ended with “And then it was perfect, so the lesson is here is to just keep trying” but instead it ended with me realizing that I wasn’t enjoying this drawing at all, and enjoyment is the entire reason I’m doing this project, so I quit. And I started a new drawing, which I am liking.

Behold the forever unfinished muddy mess that made me realize that abstract art is hard:

“This didn’t turn out how I wanted, but sometimes there is an art in realizing we are allowed to be seen failing.”

But like…why was that so hard? Why is it so difficult to give yourself the gift of saying “I have a limited time here so fuck this bullshit. Let’s do awesome stuff.”

You don’t have to keep doing things you don’t enjoy. You don’t have to eat the meal that tastes bitter. You don’t have to finish a book that isn’t speaking to you. You don’t have to stay with people who make you miserable. You don’t have to do that thing that everyone else says all normal people love when you’d rather do whatever weird thing brings you joy.

Why do I have to keep reminding myself of that when it should be so logical?

I don’t have my next drawing finished but I do have this one that seems fitting: