Does this look weird to you?
Yesterday I finished this drawing and I looked at it and said, “Why does the middle part look brown?”
And Victor was like, “Probably because you used a brown pen?” and I said, “They don’t even make these pens in brown” and then Victor picked up the pack of pens I’d just opened and Y’ALL, THAT WHOLE FUCKING PACK WAS JUST BROWN PENS.
And I sighed so loud that you could probably hear it in your own house but then reminded myself that I could use the contrast and saturation to make it look black and white for you, but maybe you need a reminder that what we see online isn’t necessarily reality because we tend not to share the mistakes we’re constantly making.
“If you want me I’ll be here…just quietly disassociating.”
So just use this as a reminder to check your pens first and also that everyone is accidentally fucking up all the time but we tend to see our own fuck ups as so much bigger than they are. It’s okay. You’re not supposed to be perfect. You’re just supposed to be you.
Your friend,
Jenny
PS. Yesterday I opened an unexpected, extraordinary gift. (Video below.) It was a quilt, hand-sewn and embroidered with drawings I’d made and I literally curled up in it and cried. I can’t find her online but a tiny note that she left in the quilt said she was inspired by this substack so maybe she’ll read this: Thank you, Jen Beekay. This is a treasure.
This is Jen Beekay....thank you all for the love of the quilt...I use the stitching to escape the darkness in my head....every day I sit down at 3pm to rest and stitch and to NOT think about "all this"...Jenny's substack and her commitment to draw consistently helped me establish a more routine stitching practice. Love to all.
I Love the brown window!!!! I thought it was supposed to be like that. Isn’t that how the universe works sometimes? And the maker of that quilt is incredible.