She’s still here

Hi friend.

I’m still pulling myself out of what I assume is a depression. My brain is foggier than normal. My energy is weird. I didn’t like anything I drew, but still I drew, using every mark to keep my hands busy.

When my mind goes dark like this I always feel like I’ll never pull myself out…that I’ll never create again…never be funny or imaginative. I know this is just a lie that depression tells but it tells it so cunningly well.

So I pulled out my old sketchbook and finished a doodle I’d started years ago. One I’d begun during another fallow period when I feared my creative cup was forever empty. And it reminded me that I have felt this fear before, and always I have found my spark again. Always I have come back to myself to enjoy life again if I give myself time and patience. And there’s no reason to believe that I won’t again.

“Sometimes I feel a hollowness inside. An emptiness. But still I have hope that the songbird remains. Even when she is quiet.”

And the same is true for you, if you are struggling, or feeling empty or scared. This will pass. The songbird in your heart might be quiet from time to time. Let her rest. She’ll sing again.

Keep going, friend.

I will too.

Love and (sometimes silent music,

me