This month sucks
but it's going to be okay
Okay, I always try to be positive even with the bad stuff but there is no sugar-coating the fact this month is sort of killing me. First of all, we’re moving to a different house and I’m currently surrounded by a mess of packing boxes, tumbleweeds made of cat fur, executive paralysis, and all of my questionable decisions. I’ve cried twice and have locked myself in my car to hide multiple times. Rationally, I know this is how every move goes and that in a few weeks we’ll be done (aside from the boxes that we won’t unpack, despite our best intentions, several of which were never unpacked from our last move 12 years ago) but I hate this middle space.
Also, in case you missed it on the blog, I decided to just make this month even harder by getting cancer. *sigh* BUT…it’s slow-moving and super tiny and I’ll probably be just fine and all the details are here.
And I had a drawing for this week but it currently lost in the bog, which is how I will refer to everything that is now missing in the move. So instead, here is one that I did a few years ago but never shared and honestly, it sort of fits, because this month has taught me the importance of grasping joy at every opportunity.
“FUCK EVERYTHING THAT DOESN’T BRING YOU HAPPINESS.”
And now I’m realizing that I need to be looking for joy while moving, and that seems impossible, except that I just saw a giant ginger fluffer in our new neighborhood and this seems like a very good sign.
LOOK AT THIS CHONKER!
I don’t know his name because he wouldn’t let me get close but I have named him MR CHONKY and my current goal is to become his best friend.
Anyway, this letter was probably a lot and I apologize for that, but it’s all good…or will be good in the future.
Eke out every bit of happiness you see, friend. And if you can’t, just be glad you’re not in moving hell. Unless you are in moving hell currently, in which case I am giving you a high-five as you start a bonfire on the front yard to burn everything you don’t want to pack. We’re all doing that, right? This is fine. Everything is fine. Pass the matches.
I super crazy love you,
me
I've been through a lot of what you're going through (including the move). It was a rough four years medically, geographically, financially, and emotionally. I wasn't even supposed to live to see 2023. I often felt like it would never end. I almost gave up so many times because trying to stay positive is exhausting and painful.
Then I'd read something you posted and it gave me that push to say "f it" I don't need to stay positive and productive all the time. I'd go curl up and nap or play a video game or read a book and stop thinking about everything for a moment.
I'd emerge feeling a little less overwhelmed. A little less down. A little more like me. Your posts kept reminding me it's okay to not do anything — which kept me fighting to get through it all the stuff life was throwing at me.
So may my comment and all the comments that are sure to follow remind you it's okay to not do anything for a bit. It's okay to not post. It's okay to not unpack. It's okay to just sit on the curb and talk to a big, fat orange cat until you're ready to start fighting again.
It's going to suck. A lot. Not just for the month. It is going to suck for a while. Find the joy in the little things. Do the things that make you smile. Keep fighting....but at your own pace. I promise it makes a difference. I'm (unexpectedly) living proof.
Sorry this was wordy...but my heart apparently needed to speak.
Mr. Chonky did the typical cat welcome. "Here's my rear end for you." Hang in there Jenny!